


Survival Theory of me(僕) and me(私)

by Cecileen_aka_C2



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Shuutan did nothing wrong god dammit, Spoiler(?): Ayano's Happiness Theory, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:09:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecileen_aka_C2/pseuds/Cecileen_aka_C2
Summary: Repeat Killing Harmony again and again. Until we can save everyone.........If I become the blackened, if my hand is smeared with blood, if I commit murder, if I kill the mastermind-then can I protect everyone’s future?





	1. If I could be [  ], then...

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Bad Apple & Servant of Evil & Ayano's Happiness Theory-boi the feels are real. 
> 
> Time Loop AU, in which 'the trio' repeats Killing Harmony to save everyone. You can imagine PMMM, for easier examples.  
> Maybe I should write series for this AU...maybe not...
> 
> I can't still get over the fact Kaito calling Saihara 'Shuuichi' and Ouma's 'Saihara-chan' pls help

Huh?

I, SHSL detective Shuuichi Saihara, is standing at the gym of Gifted Inmates Academy with SHSL assassin Maki Harukawa and SHSL magician Himiko Yumeno. I thought Gifted Inmates Academy was destroyed by Kiibo…is it fiction again? But what actually made us uncomfortable was…13 people in front of us. Person whose mask and long hair gives unsettling look, blonde with blue eyes and nice boob, pale boy with dark purple-black hair, the man with spiked purple hair…and blonde girl with amethyst eyes…everyone…    

 

“Upupu, I’m the headmaster of Gifted Inmates Academy Monokuma-!”  

An extremely familiar, death threat of forcing us to participate in new semester of killing.

In the midst of cacophony, we realized.

We’re given with another chance…we’re given with another chance!  

This time, we won’t let anyone to die.

…I won’t, let Kaede to die!

 

-

 

No. Now I hate it.

Please detest us for getting used to death.

Please loathe us for not crying over the bloody magenta flower field.

Please despise us for not being able to save one single person.

 

I want to stop. It hurts. Living because i can’t die…I won’t allow that!

 

One more time, one more time! For once! Give us one more chance!

 

-

 

“Harukawa-san, Yumeno-san. What do you think about us becoming the blackened?”

“Huh?” “What do you mean by that?”

“The first motive was always ‘time limit’, which made either Akamatsu-san or Amami-kun to die. If only I can step in the plan-”

“Saihara, I understand the fact that Akamatsu or Amami died because of you-”

“Doesn’t the same thing goes for Momota-kun?”

“Do you want to be kil-‘

“We’ve been tasting the flavor of living to enough level, so we can now taste death, right? It’s just a selfish request of me becoming the first person to do so.”

“Then I’ll-”

“No…Harukawa-san has Momota-kun, and Yumeno-san has Angie-san, Chabashira-san, Gonta-kun, right? Akamatsu-san has Amami-kun-”

“Saihara, if you’re going to kill your emotion to do so I’ll refu-”

“Please…I beg you. I’ve been thinking about this during whole loop.”

“……Fine.” “……Okay.”

“……thanks, you two.”

 

-

 

If I become the blackened, if my hand is smeared with blood, if I commit murder, if I kill the mastermind-then can I protect Akamatsu-san’s, Amami-kun’s, Iruma-san’s, Ouma-kun’s, Kiibo-kun’s, Gonta-kun’s, Shirogane-san’s, Shinguuji-kun’s, Chabashira-san’s, Toujou-san’s, Harukawa-san’s, Hoshi-kun’s, Momota-kun’s, Yumeno-san’s, Angie-san’s, everyone’s future?

I know it’s Indescribable, full-of-loophole trick, but still-

 

The sensor beeped.

 

I threw out what I was holding.

 

-

 

“A body has been discovered!”

 

-

 

“…………The blackened is…Saihara-kun, right……?”

“…………”

“Congratulations, you got it right!”

“………”

“Why are you congratulating?! No actually, why did you commit murder at first place?!! Shuuichi!!!”    

“A detective who murdered? Nice irony! Nishihi…”

“Upupu…the most unexpected murder from the beginning…”

 

Monokuma’s death glare. It’s way more unsettling than fifth trial…heh, what do you think? We will, I will not let other 12 kill and be killed by each other.

 

“…what do you suppose to mean by that?”

 

Harukawa-san and Yumeno-san will explain the whole thing.

 

Aaah. So it’s finally punishment time? Does everything end if I die? If I die-

……No. I don’t want to die. I’m scared!

I don’t want to die yet! I want to stay with everyone! Not right now! I don’t want t-

 

If I die, the killing game ends.

If the killing game ends, Amami-kun can find his sister. Toujou-san can protect her people. Angie-san and Chabashira-san and Gonta-kun can live. Kaito can live. Kaede can…live.

If someone dies because I live and someone despairs because I told the truth, it would be better if I don’t exist in the first place.

 

To protect everyone, I’ll gladly smear blood on my hand. I’ll even become the murderer…so please smile for me. Please keep that smile forever. I was really glad to meet Akamatsu-san, Amami-kun, Iruma-san, Ouma-kun, Kiibo-kun, Gonta-kun, Shirogane-san, Shinguuji-kun, Chabashira-san, Toujou-san, Harukawa-san, Hoshi-kun, Momota-kun, Yumeno-san, Angie-san, everyone…

 

At least let it end with happy-ending.

Hide tears behind smile, even if that smile is lie…

 

“…then it’s farewell, everyone. Please live for me. It’s promise!”

 

It’s alright. The future will be okay. At least it would be way better than this time. I’m not lying!

 

“……Sure! Since Gonta is gentleman, Gonta will keep Saihara-kun’s promise!”

“…Of course! It’s man’s promise! Shuuichi!”

“Uuugh…Saihara-kun was, the best man Tenko has ever met!”

“No…NO! I won’t allow this! Stop this trial now! Supreme ruler’s order!”

“Right…it’s promise, Shuuichi-kun!”

 

Because I…know it already.

 

“Then let us start the punishment of SHSL detective Shuuichi Saihara!”

 

Goodbye. Everyone.

…Please live, at least for me.

 

“Aaa…AAAAAARGH!!!”

“Shuuichi!!!”

“Saihara-chan!!!”

 

Goodbye. Kaede.

…thank you for believing in me.

 

……

 

…I love you.

 

“Shuuichi-kun…SHUUICHI-KUUUUUN!!!”

 


	2. A Letter between End and Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course Shuuichi wrote a letter. After all, they would demand explanation-but he knew he wouldn't be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Two month counts as 'soon' to me!  
> Set after execution of SHSL detective and before the new semester of killing starts again.

The letter Maki Harukawa took out was covered by small neat handwriting. Shuuichi Saihara wrote the interpretation of this crazy world, defined by SHSL detective’s very own insight while he lived because he couldn’t die. As Harukawa calmly read the letter soon everyone gathered up to listen to SHSL detective’s explanation.

‘If you’re reading this letter, that might mean I’m dead. First, congratulations for surviving. Hmm…where should I start? Maybe Harukawa-san and Yumeno-san told you already-we the trio repeated this new semester of killing endless times to save you guys. Were we scared? No.

……that’s wrong. Kaede Akamatsu thought.

‘…you got it right. Of course it is a lie. We were coward who couldn’t forget you guys, we just wanted to see you guys one more time…we wanted 16 of us, everyone to escape this academy …so we repeated this new semester of killing. The new semester which someone is found with snapped neck, someone else is found with bloody head, someone gets punishment of falling to death, and someone is crushed to death as punishment…

We hated ourselves for getting used to such holocaust. We wanted to stop, but then the feelings we gave to you guys became too late to call it ‘love’… 

As always, human is beautiful under any situations. Korekiyo Shinguuji silently admired.

‘However, no matter what kind of trick we planned, no single person survived as if lying. Except us three, there were none. We could just stare as everyone drowned in bloodbath…there was zero change. As if it was programmed to only us three to survive at the first place. We detested ourselves for not crying over friends’ death. We loathed ourselves for getting used to terrible death. Ah, guess Harukawa-san and I were since beginning of the very first game…ahaha… 

The duet of an assassin who collects life and a detective who explains death…Maki Harukawa made bittersweet smile. 

‘But one day, there was this certain idea: If I, Shuuichi Saihara who has every memory, kill the mastermind and executed as blackened, could there be a variable? When mastermind dies then so does killing game…then I can at least move the turning point up…from that impossible fantasy, all these things just happened.’

‘Just in case you guys are going to loop again, Please keep in mind; One. SHSL Cosplayer Tsumugi Shirogane in the game is not real Tsumugi Shirogane. The real Shirogane-san might be imprisoned in Team Dangan Ronpa, I think, so escape this killing game and save her.’

‘Two. even if you ended up committing murder, couldn’t save other person, couldn't’ keep the promise, please don’t reproach yourself. You have 15 others who believes in you, I realized that at third loop…’

‘Three. Kaede-san. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for giving me courage. Right now, everyone’s alive half-thanks to Kaede-san… I love you…so please wait until we can meet again and leave this academy together. okay? It’s promise.’  
“Yeah, it’s promise, Shuuichi-kun…I love you too, we’ll meet again!”

‘Four. Amami-kun…request of finding your sister, sorry for not accomplishing it. If you keep surviving you’ll meet her one day, so please live. That’s Amami-kun’s talent… ‘SHSL Adventurer’ who can overcome any kind of obstacles.’  
“…Saihara-kun…thanks. I will survive, I’ll let my sister to meet you, so we’ll leave this academy next time!”

‘Five. Iruma-san. We could survive thanks to your inventions…Iruma-san is strong-really strong. You can protect everyone, right? Everyone can survive next time, right? Please, trust yourself.’  
“Kyahaha! The hell it is! The mighty me is strong! Next time I’ll be the one who protects you, so appreciate it!”

‘Six. I just figured out that Ouma-kun actually hates this killing game. To be honest you want to protect everyone, don’t you? That’s same for me, so please don’t lie to much.’  
“Nishishi…I’ll protect Saihara-chan next time! Appreciate this honor granted by SHSL supreme ruler! I’m not lying!”

‘Seven. Kiibo-kun is, the most humanly one. We could survive the first loop thanks to you. Since you are the true ‘hope’, there is no need to worry-just guide everyone to safety.’  
“Of course! That’s what law of robotics are for!”

‘Eight. Gonta-kun is true gentleman. The true gentleman who already protected everyone several times-so this time please let us protect you.’  
“Yeah…Gonta don’t get it, but Gonta will protect Saihara-kun as true gentleman.”

‘Nine. Shinguuji-kun. Human is beautiful…but the most beautiful thing is being alive. I’ll say hello to your sister!’  
“Kukuku…appreciate it, Saihara. Your determination of not giving up is also beautiful.”

‘Ten. Chabashira-san. Happiness of protecting someone precious doesn’t separate male and female. I wish Chabashira-san can realize such happiness too.’  
“All-right Saihara-kun! Next time Tenko will protect everyone-including Saihara-kun too!”

‘Eleven. Toujou-san. Toujou-san is…team mom whom everyone can rely on. But this time you can rely on us.’  
“…If you say so. I can depend on you this time, right? Saihara-kun.”

‘Twelve. Harukawa-san. Thank you, best partner. Let’s protect everyone till last loop.’   
“…Of course…stupid.”

‘Thirteen. Hoshi-kun. Life is worth living. Nothing to lose? Here you have 15 members of ‘family’, so please don’t give up on living.’  
‘…thanks, Saihara. I’ll live, until this loop ends.’

‘Fourteen. Momota-kun. Thank you for giving me the courage to face the truth. Everyone being alive…it’s also half-thanks to you. I’ll see the star in real space.’  
‘Shoot, I thought I was the first…what’s the need to thank such stuff? That’s what friends are for! Weathering the challenge together! We are escaping together next time!’ 

‘Fifteen. Yumeno-san. You did an excellent job. You can take a rest. Seize the moment when you are with your friends.’  
“Thank you, Saihara…”

‘Sixteen. Angie-san. …frankly speaking, I can’t really fully understand you, but I do know that you cherish your friends. I’ll…protect.’  
“Nyahaha, Angie will pray to god! To protect Shuuichi!”

‘Okay? Next time, everyone will leave this academy alive!’

Thus Shuuichi Saihara’s message ended..

“Harumaki, Are you two the only one who can loop?”  
“Seems like it…but the memory of anyone who survived loops with us.”  
“T, that means…!”  
Everyone except ‘Mastermind’ Tsumugi Shirogane and ‘SHSL Detective’ Shuuichi Saihara repeats the new semester of killing with previous memory…! 

“Alright! This time we’ll escape academy and save Shirogane! Everyone!” 

Fourteen hands gathered- 

“One, two, three, let’s do this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I did not-so-good job at last chapter so here's the explanation:  
> This AU is set in time loop AU.(Surprise, surprise)  
> Shuuichi, Maki, and Himiko looped again and again to save everyone-but they failed.   
> This loop thing won't stop unless DR ends. If you loop, you preserve a memory of previous killing game. Now imagine how much it must have been painful for them...  
> Almost growing tired of this loop, Shuuichi came up with solution-him killing the MM and executed, ending the game, and then everyone else can loop with previous memory(and end Dangan Ronpa). And this is story of Ch 1.  
> Shuuichi left a letter with explanation on whole thing and message of encouragement and appreciation for everyone and gave that to Harumaki the night before he died-thus everyone could finally learn what Shuuichi had been through and how much they meant to him. With rising hope and determination, everyone loops(The part you just read).  
> So this story is set at the end of second-to-last timeline and final loop.
> 
> There is one Japanese fanfic, title name's 俺新訳・ダンガンロンパ (INI Danganronpa, INI is acronym of three kanjis, roughly meaning 'I newly interpreted'. So more like 'Self-newly interpreted Danganronpa') This long, long series is also Time-loop au but with DR1 cast. With it's high quality, almost as good as game itself, it received many praises from Japanese and Korean fandom. Wish Western fandom could read this too...but I'm not Japanese speaker so...  
> Anyway, this inspired many people to write Time-loop au DR fanfic, including myself. Well I knew other Time-loop anime, like PMMM and Kagerou, so I just mashed them together and voila. 
> 
> Please don't tell me I'm the only one who feels really bad and cries over survivor trio...  
> I mean, I didn't know surviving could be worse than death in DR series...  
> PLEASE let Shuuichi, Harumaki, and Himiko-chan be happy...

**Author's Note:**

> ......Yup, you got it right. Shuuichi as in Ayano's position. The title was going to be 'Shuuichi's happiness Theory'...but then I changed it. The title is reference to first chapter's title: 私と 僕の 学級裁判(Class Trial of me and me). 私(watashi) is Kaede's 1st pronoun, and 僕(boku) is Shuuichi's...you know what it means.
> 
> Remember when I said 'this is kinda like PMMM'? I just imagined Shuuichi in Homura's clothes and I can't stop laughing pls hel p  
> Maybe Maki can be Kyouko...but it's more like Kaito saved Maki...IDK
> 
> Chapter 2 coming soon!


End file.
